Thursday, April 21, 2011

Take Responsibility for Your Experience!

The truth does set us free, but it may hurt while the freedom comes. Taking responsibility for our experience is one of the points of personal power. Taking or owning responsibility for your experience in life is shifting from being the victim of others or circumstances to accountability. Relationships, health, financial status, professional woes are often blamed on life. Failure to accept our part in the difficult or disappointing situation causes one to seek a reason or story (rationalization) for an explanation. Blaming is the most frequent strategy. Anytime one begins to blame, responsibility for our experience is placed outside of ourselves, making us the victim. Being a victim is a denial of our personal power! Owning or admitting our role in the situation is the beginning of freedom.

In the process of taking responsibility for our experience underlying emotions and beliefs that have been a part of our lives become known. These emotions haven't been given their true voice and had to wear a mask to find expression. Hurt may well be the mask worn by a deep anger; a physical ailment may be the mask of resentment; or an obsessive/compulsive behavior may be the expression for an fulfilled connection with a significant loved one. "If it weren't for you" can be a self-defeating game that is played.

One classic expression of not owning our own experience is taking the responsibility for others experience. A parent often blames themselves for the choices and difficulties their children experience - long after the child has aged into adulthood. Another expression of owning someone's experience is "wanting something more for another than they want for themselves." So often owning another person's experience is avoidance of taking responsibility for one's personal experience and accountability.

Taking responsibility for your experience a full commitment to owning your experience. This maybe the most difficult step of the process. While we may own the part that isn't so objectionable, the ugly parts can be ignored or denied. So often individuals doing personal growth or change work seek to create a "new person" to replace the flawed one. Taking responsibility for your own experience is about owning the whole you, warts and all, that you are now! This step of personal power is acknowledging that you are enough, that your creator didn't make "junk", but empowered and equipped you to complete your destiny. As one owns their experience, openness to learning and support are welcomed. Being grateful and celebrating your experience is one expression of true freedom!

1 comment:

  1. Most of the time this is easy for me - but not today. I'm having to create some grateful, quiet time to reflect on my "own" experience because I've let myself be pulled to others' experiences. I'm feeling and seeing the freedom as I let the others go even as I think and write about it! Thanks Russ!

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